Everyday women face so many expectations about how they are supposed to behave, and that extends to the bedroom. The stereotypes say that women have lower libidos than men, that they’re complicated and difficult to please, and that they attach more meaning to sexual encounters than men do. Meanwhile, men are supposed to be the initiators when it comes to sex, in addition to being easy to turn on, easy to please who are always up for a quick roll in the hay.
In fact, many of these stereotypes are myths. And ladies, blindly accepting these myths can mean missing out on a more satisfying and exciting sex life. Sure, guys may struggle at times to figure women out, but they aren’t the only one making big mistakes when it comes to sex. Here are some of the most common ones, and what you can do to avoid them:.
Mistake #1: Never initiating sex.
Stereotypes about masculinity may lead us to believe that the man should always be the one to initiate a sexual encounter. Those stereotypes are wrong. When a guy feels like he is always the one to initiate sex, he may begin to believe you don’t find him desirable. Taking that first step for a change can show him that’s just not the case. Besides, most guys find being seduced by a willing partner to be a real turn-on..
Mistake #2: Worrying about what you look like in bed.
Nothing can kill a sexy mood like obsessing about your jiggling belly fat while making love. Sex is most satisfying when you can be “in the moment.” If you’re lying there feeling self-conscious about your body image, it will affect both your enjoyment and your partner’s. And the fact is, by the time a man has got you undressed and in an intimate situation, he’s well past giving a thought to your supposed physical imperfections..
Mistake #3: Not giving him guidance.
It’s important to remember that men aren’t mind readers. Sometimes they’re not even good at picking up on those oh-so-subtle hints that women drop for them. If you want him to focus on a particular area of your body, or if he’s doing something you really enjoy (or doing something you really don’t), tell him. Making him guess will only wind up being frustrating and unsatisfying for both of you. .
Mistake #4: Faking it.
Here we are in the year 2016, and studies show that women are still faking orgasms in the bedroom. Ladies, don’t do this! Perhaps you feel like you need to protect your partner’s feelings. But in reality, you’re just encouraging him to keep on repeating the same bedroom behavior that keeps failing to satisfy you. Instead of pretending that what he’s doing is giving you the best orgasm ever, why not show him what will actually bring you to a climax? Honest communication is the key to a satisfying sex life..
Mistake #5: Talking during sex about un-sexy stuff.
Sometimes men tend to be a little too quiet and stoic while they’re doing the deed. But sometimes women have the opposite problem. While open communication and ‘dirty talk’ can really put a spark into your intimacy, some women have a tendency to discuss weekend plans, problems with their coworkers, or even the laundry during intercourse. A lot of guys find this intrusion of the ‘real world’ into moments of sexual intimacy to be unwelcome, so be careful that you don’t overdo it.
Mistake #6: Assuming that men are always up for sex.
The classic stereotype about men is that they are always horny and ready for a romp between the sheets. So when a guy tells you he doesn’t feel up to it tonight, you may feel hurt, rejected, or even suspicious, wondering what his ulterior motives are. The fact is that, just like you, sometimes men get tired and stressed out and just don’t feel like sex. Try not to take it personally. Unless your partner’s disinterest in sex is an ongoing issue, it’s not necessary to read too much into it.
Mistake #7: Assuming that sex is casual for men.
Supposedly men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Guys, so the story goes, are just out to get laid, while women are the ones that attach a bunch of emotional baggage to sex. In reality, sex can be just as meaningful and powerful for him as it is for you. Don’t make the mistake of believing that what you did together last night was strictly casual to him just because he’s a man. Research shows that sex produces chemicals in the brains of both partners that lead to deeper emotional bonding. Studies also show that both men and women usually find sex in the context of a committed relationship to be much more satisfying. As always, the key to a great sex life is good communication.
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